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José Gaspar

A laid-back guide to Gasparilla

By Anne Glover, tampa bay.com Published January 21, 2008 When you see the Jose Gaspar come into view, you will understand why this has been going on since 1904.

Look, you want to go to  Gasparilla, you really do. It's just that, well,   between the parking and the uncertainty of the weather and the traffic and the (insert your excuse here) -- you can't bring yourself  to navigate the crowds and plunge into Tampa's drunken pirate   plunderfest.

Chill. We've  got a sure fire way to enjoy a Saturday among the throngs of party   heartiers. Just follow our  suggested invasion/parade route and you'll practically be   able to start your own. Gasparilla Extravaganza

Our perfect Gasparilla day starts about 10:30 a.m. and envisions most of the  time spent on Harbour Island near the Westin Hotel, witnessing the   majestic flotilla of boats, then a nice lunch as we wait for the  parade, followed by a jaunt into the crowds to experience the  full-blown effect of beads + booze.

Get ready to rock!

Park and party. Start by naming your designated driver, or just remember to know when to say when. We love  the convenience of the Channel side district for parking, and use the   main short-term parking terminal right across from the Florida  Aquarium. You can reach it easily by going through Ybor City and   turning left onto the Nick Nuccio Parkway. Follow the signs to the   Aquarium/Seaport and hang in the right-hand lane. Watch for short-term   parking (not the cruise parking) and turn right, then a quick left to get to the garage. Rates will likely be $10, according to a parking   attendant we talked with on the weekend before the big day. But be  prepared to pay more. There is also parking along the Channel side.

Get ready to R-a-a-m-m-b-l-e! Now you'll have a about a 10-minute walk over to Harbour Island. Pace yourself by going into the tourist info center at Channel side and purchasing a pirate mood necklace for $7.95 (changes colors!). Then look for the Hut Bar and Grill (formerly Newk's), where you can enjoy a bloody Mary to start your day. Now, cruise through the out door concourse at the St. Pete Times Forum as you make your way toward the Marriott Waterside. (You might want to make a mental note that Matchbox   Twenty and Alanis Morissette will be in concerta t 7:30 thatnight.) Be sure to meander behind the hotel so you can marvel at the cabin   cruisers docked there. Just before you get to the bridge that leads to the island, hang a right and traverse the "doggiewalk" so you can   access the bridge. From there, it's a quick hike to get to the Westin.

The Jackson's hive. You will be asking   yourself, "Wow, why didn't I think of this before?" as you make your way through wenches and pirates and dogs and beer stands and the smellof burgers on the grill in the hub known as Jackson's Bistro. All of the  normally chi-chi club's accoutrements have been stripped down so that   maximum revelry can be attained without worrying about pricey cabana furniture. You'll want to soak it all in,so don't be too eager to launch into an alcohol binge just yet. Wander the waterfront and enjoy the show of people and obnoxiously large yachts-- serious vessels that require their visitors to slip their shoes off before boarding so as not to spoil the carpet. (Dream on if you think you can get on one, but feel free to make a fool of yourself trying.)If you wander toward the very end of the walk, you might encounter the tbt*Pirate Invasion Party. Got tickets? (They're $15 inadvance, $25 at the door.) Then head over the stairs and enjoy music, a   moderately well-maintained restroom and access to a full bar(sorry, the ticket doesn't include all-you-can-drink).

Your ships have come in. Whatever you do, don't leave the island until you've seen the Gasparilla   invasion. You'll see the small boats coming upthe channel   first, and the people on board will make ridiculous attempts to throw   beads to the partiers on the water walk. Most will fall far short into  the channel, so don't even bother yelling for them. Then the Jose Gaspar will appear in all its pirate glory, with flags   lying and guns booming. You will clap and hoot and yell and try to  take a picture that will capture this spectacle. You will understand, at once, why this has been going  on since 1904.

Food. Must. Have. Food. Why not stretch your legs again and head toward the Marriott? You'll meet   lots of fun drunken people along the way. Head for the lobby bar, and  order something expensive while casually asking for the bar food menu. Meet the exasperated look of the bartender with a steady gaze and tell   her, "Hey, I know you're busy, but we'll make it worth your while." Tip   well on the expensive drink to show you mean it. A nice bonus for you on this Gasparilla pitstop is an ATM in the lobby, and a really nice  restroom to freshen up. (Be sure to tip the attendant well, ladies.

Love a parade? Relax, it takes those pirates forever to get on buses after the invasion,board their floats and make their way downtown along Bayshore. So if it's 3ish, you can still safely take a hike west either on Brorein(probably less crowded) or Channel side Drive to try to catch some of the parade. Avoid Franklin Street near the convention center if at all   possible. The barricades force the crowds to thread their ways loooowwwwwly to get to the route. You can also just wait for the   parade to catch up to you near the convention center area.It's the end of the route, but you can still score some beads. In fact,people and   businesses are giving away beads all over the place, sono need to flash and dash the entire day. (Hint:Try  to find a bicycle rickshaw driver who can ferry you where to want to   go. Pay well. It's worth it.)

Wind it up. If you're still fresh and not ready to call it a day, head back to the Westin and mix with the well-lubed partiers there.But be aware that private events will be starting soon, and previously   cover-free clubs will be charging. There are some stadium steps that  look out on the channel, so plop there if the sun is hanging low, and watch as the marine patrol tags drunken boaters. If that doesn't sober   you up, get yourself a RedBull, sans vodka, please.

Decision time! Either   you can continue indefinitely into the night, hitting the Pirate Fest   downtown before wandering back to the forum concourse for the Matchbox Twenty pre-party at Shots, then Andreychuk's, then .... Or, you can take home some fond   memories of your laid-back Gasparilla and be home in time for a nice dinner.

Your call, wild thing.

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